By Jayshree M. Tripathi
In the last year of my 60’s, I find myself reflecting upon how I travelled across continents, resided in seven countries, over the decades, with my husband on his postings, and even earlier, as a child, travelling with my parents to London.
How may one fill in all the years given away to the family, as a wife and mother? Some spouses are delighted to be home-makers and care-givers. Others decide to pursue their ambitions, in India, or even overseas. Some stay on, fulfil all their duties unstintingly, but may often sit down and have a good cry, especially as the days turn to months, then years and the decades fly by. I confess, I did!
Till it is time to return home, perhaps to retire, or fade into oblivion? The husband will retire as a Distinguished Citizen of India. The wife, who has worked unstintingly behind the scenes in varied roles supporting her husband, what will she be remembered for? Being in the foreign-service family has certainly been fascinating, vastly challenging in certain countries for the civil servant, but even more so for the ‘spouse’. The question I am underscoring here is: why should I feel guilt for not having had a career, if I stayed with my spouse and children or for not contributing to the monthly single-income? Does not earning make me a ‘bad’ mother or ‘wife’? Some years ago, the government graciously granted the spouse leave to work, within specific parameters, that would pose no direct or indirect conflict of interest. This is a given – to uphold the dignity of our country at all costs. However, jobs were not easily available in certain countries or at the time of a posting. Then there was the question of the existence of double-taxation. In those days, employers were not impressed with a chequered – experience table and frequent moves every three years.
Regrets? Perhaps a few. Remorse? I do not think so. A sense of guilt? Why? Did I not ‘have it all?’ These questions are difficult to answer or compartmentalize neatly. The children all grown – up, in their chosen fields, given their choices – that I could not have made without upsetting the apple-cart. It is a hard – cogged wheel that turns exceedingly slowly and painfully, for some of us.
However, it is heartening to behold so many of the younger generation ( or two !), who seem to have found all the answers and made their choices! Bravo!
I decided to compile the stories in this anthology two years ago.
These are natural conversations, mini-memoirs of the past and I am so grateful to my co-writers, fifteen of them, for sharing their stories and bringing my personal project into print, nationwide and worldwide too.
I do hope these ‘voices’ will resonate to reveal the courage, unwavering determination, resilience and personal growth of the spouses, in service to the nation.
Fragility or vulnerability often unlocks a reader’s memory and makes a book all the more worthwhile. These truthful and insightful narratives will also inspire younger readers, who may choose the civil services in the future.
There are many ‘voices’ in this anthology, including stories from two male “spouses” (bureaucrats in their own right), and two adult daughters (one a retired Ambassador). Each narrative is unique, its voice or stream of consciousness remains untouched.
I hope some may read the Kindle edition available on Amazon.
With my regards,
Jayshree M. Tripathi
www.linkedin.com/in/jayshreetripathi
Jayshree has been a consultant, educator and examiner in English Language and Literature, for the Diploma of the International Baccalaureate Organization. She worked in print media in the late ’70s and ’80s in India. Having lived in diverse cultures for over thirty years with her late husband, a career diplomat in the Indian Civil Service, her short fiction and narrative verse dwell upon journeys through the diaspora, highlighting women’s ‘voices’ and cross-cultural conversations.
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My Events held at the India International Centre, Delhi, after returning to India in 2014 :
*Help Her Walk Forward ~ Women Helping Women, March 2016
*Adult Literacy, hosted by IIC, September 2016
*An evening of Poetry Appreciation, to launch my poetry book, Trips and Trials,
December 2018
*Women Helping Women:, March 2019.
*Women Writers” March 14th 2020- just before the Lockdown.
*Looking Back – Written Words, Stories Unshared – 14 December 2022, 06:00 pm
*Invisibility and Challenges faced by Women over a Certain Age – Make their Voices Count March 2024
*In Memoriam: Humra Quraishi – A Poetry and Prose Tribute – March 2025
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Speaker at Galle Literary Festival, Sri Lanka 2018
Moderated sessions at:
Valley of Words, Dehradun
Kalinga Literary Festival, Bhubaneswar and virtual Bhava Samvad during Covid (inaugural + one year )
Bengaluru Poetry Festival
Books online : Amazon India : Jayshree Misra Tripathi
