By Rona Jobe
I remember it vividly. I was jetlagged and overwhelmed, sitting in an outdoor conference-style gathering area, a typical set-up in Brazil, in the U.S. Embassy welcome event. As the presenter pulled up his next slide he motioned to the predominantly female audience saying:
“…for those of you who are just trailing spouses…”
I couldn’t tell you what else he said. I didn’t hear him. Being reduced to a “just” has that effect on me. Initially, I wanted to stand up and yell, “I’m not ‘just’ a spouse. I had an exceptional career in America. I earned multiple degrees and had over a decade of hard-earned work experience. But not ‘just’ that, I am also a proud working mother and the spouse of a diplomat. I don’t trail anyone. I lead and have done so for the majority of my life.”
Despite the many clever comebacks that ran through my mind, I stayed quiet. It was at that moment that it hit me, my identity was now entirely connected to my husband. I was now his “plus one” on every invitation and the “eligible family member” (EFM) on all government documentation. In the eyes of the world, I was “just a trailing spouse.”
As the meeting ended, I looked around and saw the faces of other spouses like me who had also willingly packed up their families and moved to a new country. They left behind extended family, friends, and their comfortable lifestyles to support their spouses’ careers. Many gave up burgeoning careers and pieces of their American dreams to embrace the unknown of an international life. The phrase “just a trailing spouse” didn’t reflect the reality in that room, like EFMs all over the world, these spouses were making significant personal and professional sacrifices, quietly serving their country to support their partner’s diplomatic or military service.
What no one tells you about being in the Foreign Service or military is that with each move—typically every two to three years—is that the spouse is primarily responsible for building the foundation of a new life in a new land. While the officer or service member immediately reports to work to start the role they were specifically hired and trained to do, the spouse is faced with uncertainty as they are tasked with settling the family’s home life. I was acclimating our family to life in an unfamiliar country while executing daily needs in a language I did not speak and trying to maintain some semblance of a career. Keeping things rolling smoothly was like keeping all the plates—school enrollment, paperwork, grocery shopping, learning cultural norms—spinning while walking barefoot on a floor covered with Legos. There is no checklist or onboarding for the spouse; just the expectation that the trailing spouse will figure it out for the entire family.
Despite all the challenges, I consider myself lucky. When we moved to Brazil, I could continue working remotely in my chosen field — a luxury not available to many diplomatic or military spouses. Many are often forced to resign from prestigious high-paying roles in finance, medicine, law, and government simply because they lack the opportunity to carry their careers with them to the new location. For many, the loss of a career isn’t just financial; they lose pieces of their identity, autonomy, and sense of purpose.
For those who are able to work remotely, each new country presents a unique set of challenges. Professional credentials don’t always transfer across borders, laws and work visa regulations vary, and a host of other logistical hurdles hinder our ability to work effectively in our host country. Some spouses embrace each relocation as an opportunity to redefine their careers or pursue personal passions without financial gain. They might delve into photography, become fitness instructors, or return to academic pursuits. Conversely, others confront the stark reality of limited job prospects within their professional domains. For these individuals, consulting or freelance work could be viable alternatives, provided they can find companies willing to hire remote employees who frequently relocate.
These obstacles represent a significant challenge for career-driven diplomatic and military spouses. However, it also presents an extraordinary opportunity for businesses. Diplomatic and military spouses possess a distinctive skill set that includes multitasking, drive, openness, innovation, and agility. They demonstrate a strong sense of responsibility, meticulous attention to detail, and—perhaps most importantly—an innate talent for diplomacy. They navigate diverse perspectives and opinions with grace and understand the cultural nuances that shape effective communication and collaboration.
Crafting sustainable career opportunities for EFMs and military spouses also enhances the U.S. government’s effectiveness and mission. When we have access to stable and meaningful remote employment opportunities, it significantly improves the quality of life for diplomatic and military families. This, in turn, directly bolsters the officer or service member’s ability to fulfill the government’s objectives and further incentivizes qualified individuals to join the State Department, military, and other agencies that advance the U.S. mission both at home and abroad.
The career trajectory of a “trailing spouse” need not include employment gaps if U.S. companies can recognize the tremendous value of hiring and retaining these spouses. Businesses stand to benefit greatly from having a globally dispersed workforce capable of operating and sustaining operations when U.S. offices are closed, all without the company having to build overseas infrastructure or pay taxes in those countries. As corporate America grapples with a pressing shortage of skilled workers and acknowledges the productivity and value of remote work, there is a compelling case for tapping into this highly qualified, diverse, and geographically dispersed network to expand global reach in the 21st century.
LVL-Up may be one of the few companies advocating for and providing consistent employment opportunities for diplomatic and military spouses, but they intend to make employment more accessible and flexible.
By training companies how to more effectively hire, train, and retain talented diplomatic and military spouses, they will open up the talent pool for hundreds of organizations while simultaneously providing more career pathways for the family members who support the men and women serving our country around the world.
About the author:
Rona Jobe is the CEO of LVL-Up Strategies. Founded in 2020, LVL-Up Strategies is an SBA 8(a) certified minority-owned, woman-owned small business based out of Arlington, Virginia. Specializing in helping small businesses grow to their potential, LVL-Up offers its clients strategic advisory, operations design and implementation, marketing plans and execution, and business development guidance. LVL-Up’s staff consists of military and Foreign Service spouses who are offered an opportunity to build sustainable careers while serving the United States all over the world.
