In Golf we Trust or Lost in delirium on hole 9.
By Nané Lagerwey, top-10 golf player in the Netherlands, former expat and MA in English literature.
The golf and country club is the perfect place to meet your future ex-partner. Finally you meet a great person who plays golf as well, yet after a couple of years – and rounds that is – one argues fanatically about birdies and bogeys.
Caddies meddle with others, rather than with the player he is responsible for. Golfclubs are being smashed around, whilst one’s backswing is getting distracted. A 3-wood has been put deliberately on the ground to stumble over it on hole 7. Bunkers are everywhere in play from the ladies’ backtees, just to prevent them from outdriving men.
All of the above might have happened during national tournaments. Or even during a fun game at a local golf club. Disaster and delirium is what one experiences when you bring a partner along simultaneously when you should put your heart and soul into the game. At times, whilst reading the green I could think that “I can’t think straight anymore”. A thought like this often results into a 5-putt! Once bitten twice shy, since in the afternoon I did make exactly the same 5-putt again.
My competitors play beautifully. Not only do they bring bananas, but also their fathers to the course. One father is more fanatic than the other, who promised his daughter an Imac if she keeps the bogeys from her scorecard. They are screaming as if their daughter’s golf game resembles the Ryder Cup. Girls shooting above 80 burst into tears; beautiful ingredients for a soup of the day, which is being served in the clubhouse restaurant.
It is a shame that playing golf in Holland can sometimes be a nuisance when not the players but the ones around you take everything too seriously. When I lived abroad, in Europe and in Asia, golf was being played the way the game has been designed and intended. Overseas, people are proud of talented young players. One does not utter abbreviations, e.g P and S, but the irons are called by their highly respected names, i.e pitching-and sandwedge. One does not ‘walk’ 9 holes, but one ‘plays’. After a game of golf we dress in tenue de ville, instead of jeans and t-shirts. Golf is a gentleman’s game with etiquette, traditions and sportsmanship. This should be taken into account, but above all we need to enjoy it.
Hit the ball, keep focus and drink espresso as undisturbed as possible.